Ok — in advance, I apologize if I don’t remember anything. My memory is normally really good about the sequence of events and details, even when intoxicated. But I’m mostly human, so… you know.

I walked over to Jess & Neal’s somewhere around 10 pm I think. It might have been earlier, it’s hard to say. It was “dark” at least, and the moon had risen. As I approached the house, I saw a girl wearing a hat crossing the street. She was kind of stepping precariously because of the heels she was wearing. She looked like a little harlet so I immediately knew it was Jess. I called out “Jess!” and she was like “Aaron?” and she ran up and we hugged. It was awesome. I saw Rachel and Stacy. We all ran out to make a B-double E, double R-U-N, beerrun.

When we got to the liquor store they were nearly closing, so it must have been almost 11pm. Jess picked up some Hpnotq and a sixer of Guiness. When we got up to the counter to pay, he asked for all our IDs. I fortunately have mine, but Rachel forgot hers so she waited outside. Jess searched her purse for hers and couldn’t find it :-O So she had to wait outside as well while I paid for it all with her money. It was pretty humorous, but one of those “you had to be there” moments. If they hadn’t been just about ready to close, they probably would have denied us the sale since two of us didn’t have IDs — but we’re all 21 and the owner is cool, thank goodness!

Shortly after that, we returned back to the house, went upstairs and I circulated a couple times. I saw a shitload of people I recognized, it was totally awesome. Jess, Rachel and I hung out in the kitchen for a while, talking while she put some stuff away and made Rachel a PB sandwich. At that point I think M called (she couldn’t make it ), so Jess left her sandwich and took the call. Moments after that, she called me and we talked for a while outside on the porch.

It was at that time that someone (I forget his name…Andy? I forget), dressed up as the Ultimate Warrior from the WWF, was in the living room being filmed (yes, there was a videocamera there… ) was doing the “pre-match shit talking” in front of everyone. I didn’t get a chance to see this, because I was at the bottom of the stairs, but I was definitely listening — it was hilarious. When I got back upstairs a few minutes later, I got to see his costume — it fucking ROCKED. He was wearing a big old black quasi-mullet wig (really flaired out), face paint of red, green, and (I think) yellow/orange. He had on a “buff body” top, the kind that make it look like you have rippling muscles, and was wearing a pair of shorts. It was glorious. He ran around the apartment a few times while they videotaped him. I went over to the kitchen.

Jess, Rachel, and I started doing shots of Hpnotq. I think we did 2 each, then Diana came in and we all did another. This was so hilarious. Diana was dressed as a playboy bunny — she was wearing some bunny ears, a corset, and matching underwears. She had spiked heels on too — the costume was hot. But her chest was practically spilling out of her corset, and Jess kept “accidentally” dropping stuff on the floor to get her to bend over and pick it up. Hilarity.

Shortly after that I meandered over to the living room and sat down. I think I was slightly buzzing here as the vodka slowly metabolized. The guy sitting next to me, Will, I hadn’t seen in a LONG time. He and I met about 3 or 4 years ago at some house parties across town. Really cool guy. We chatted and caught up on things, and he offered me some of his Crown. How could I refuse? I quickly ran back into the kitchen to get the cup I had hidden away (to keep other people from getting my germs since I was recently sick…although honestly…the alcohol probably disinfected the cup every time I used it ). I poured myself a nice double, sat back and chatted with him. At this point I felt my brain starting to cross a little bit and I had the “drunk laugh.” I wasn’t quite stumbling yet though, so I knew I still had some room left before cutting myself off. I drank a little Seagram’s vodka that Jess had after that, and it was then that I said “ok that’s enough.” haha.

Right around now the sequence of events gets a little blurry, so they’re all going to be out of order — I’ll just write little blurbs about different things that happened.

* * * * *

At one point i went into Jess & Neal’s bedroom, found a wig in her closet (it was black hair with 2 pony tails), a pair of cat ears, and a pair of goggles from Willy Wonka. I wore this for quite awhile, and I’m pretty sure they got it on film. That’s kind of scary.

* * * * *

Gillis came up later in the evening, probably around 1am. I was sufficiently intoxicated then. We kept saying “ARROWED!” (go to homestarrunner and watch teen girl squad, in the toons section, episode 1). He said he needed to go to VP and I insisted I go along. He and Sam were both reluctant to, but I showed them my “sober walk” (which probably looked more like I was mildly disabled) and we left. I know we got there ok and got home ok, and I know that I laughed a whole lot (and tried jumping and hitting tree branches) but I don’t remember all the details. I know at one point Gillis said he was so telling everyone down at the store about my drunkenness.

Shit, Gillis was cracking me up, I wish I could remember more of what he was saying.

* * * * *

I found a couple small fake bones (about a foot in length) and started going around to people and handing them the bone and whispering “I just boned you.” I think I did that to Diana and Jess — and then later on Rachel did it to me, and I think Gillis might have also — I dont’ remember. There was a lot of boning going on. It was really funny about 20 or 30 minutes after I initially did that, because I’d see someone else doing it, or someone would do it to me, and by that time I had completely forgotten it was going on, so I’d start laughing.

Ok, to be totally fair here, I was informed by Gillis yesterday (10/27) that Wayne was apparently doing this earlier — I don’t want to steal his thunder with this. I definitely thought of doing it on my own, but apparently he did too. Rock on dude. So I wasn’t the ONLY one to think of the “boning” game. Just wanted to give credit where its due here.

* * * * *

There were SEVERAL times when I almost fell over on things. I think I scared people. I’ve never actually fallen over ONTO anything before, but it’s fun to be off balance. I find it entertaining. M called me at one point and I was going downstairs to talk on my cell and like, three people were like “NO don’t! You’ll fall down the stairs” and just to humor them I pretended to stumble down a few of them. I was ok though. My motor skills may be absolutely awful, but I know what I’m capable of doing. haha. I think I put two tiny pumpkins in my pocket while I was on the porch.

* * * * *

I totally forgot about this, but Jeremy reminded me. Apparently (and this was recorded on film :-O), at some point I stumbled over to a skull sitting on an endtable, it was wearing a pirate patch. I looked at it for a moment, then removed the pirate patch and put it on. Since I was pretty inebriated at that point, it made walking a bit more difficult (lack of depth perception and all). I stumbled into Jess’s room where about 5 or 6 people were sitting on the bed, including Diana. When I got in the room, I had my arms outstretched and I said “ok, I’m not trying to grope anyone, I just have absolutely no depth perception.” All I gotta say is, only having 1 eye and being intoxicated is not easy. Kind of like pimpin’.

* * * * * * *

This was the actual survey answers I posted that evening. I thought they were too funny to not include here.

I’ve probably alreaedy answersd this but i’m tonxtociated right now.. exicsuse the spelling errrors.

Subject: yay! I love surveys…
Body: ~ BASICS ~

Name: Aaron Matthew Hilliard Pubert Augnacious Hill
Lives In: Richmond, In Diana
Birthday: Sept 8
School: HArd knocks
Religion: athiest
Shoe Size: 13!
Hair Color: drk brown
Eye Color: dark chocolate brown
Style: lacking=-= occasionally metroxsedual

~ HAVE YOU EVER . . . ~
Cheated on someone?: nope
Been cheated on?: probabbly
Fallen off the bed?: definitelyta
Broken someones heart?: it’s hapnenad — in dongt try to
Had your heart broken?: several times
Done something you regret?: n efver… i think tey’re aplaying whitesnaker right now
Cheated on a test?: dont thiskn ow2

~ CURRENTLY ~
Wearing: fa pria of cat ears a pony tailed wig with black hair and apir of winllly wonka ggoggles
Chatting with: i don’t knwo any names — gillis i shere thoshgh
Watching: peopel video tgapes me intxodcayterg
What should you REALLY be doing?: probably drinknig more

~ DO YOU . . . ~
Brush your teeth?: duh
Have any piercings?: nope
Drive?: nothing tonight i walked
Drink?: yup i ahve
Smoke?: nope
Got a cell?: I <3 cells

~ PERSONAL ~
What do you want to be?: a ,eat [psoca;e
What comes first in your life?: i haveno idea
What are you most scared of?: needles and creepy carliwes
How many times have you fallen in love?: 1,3030430430230,03343
Love your family?: wehn necserslerjaljr
Love your friends?: theyrse rawesome!

~ FAVORITES ~
Movie: no iada
Store: i donont
Relative: i dntong
Sport: none!?
Ice cream flavor: wabhtever your favoeit epenguin is?
Candy: yrokkie!
Day of the week: arrowed!
Time: whatever right now it..s
Color(s): 2x hugs
Like to give hugs?: hugs arules!
Like to give kisses?: when i lget lost in them!
Like to walk in the rain?: i revel with it -- and the tigers
Like to travel?: on wednesday and sometisn when its raining
Have a goldfish?: none

~ WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT . . . ~

(1) Abortion: i forget what is is

(2) Suicide: wernt they a aband?

(3) Eating Disorders: leanr to eat!

(4) Summer: i voted for perdro!

(5) Tattoos: i anveh none!

(6) Piercings: hat?

~ THIS OR THAT ~
Pierced nose or tongue?: yay
7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek?:how about you kiss my foot
Sugar or salt?: sugar makes me crays -- so i'll take pepper
Silver or gold?: [uiropel
Chocolate or flowers?: i like ears
Color or black-and-white photos?: black wand white bithes!
M&Ms or Skittles?: MOM!
Stay up late or sleep in?: I <3 zaizenness!
Hot or cold?: hot when it's cold out--- ------- it's fiun to saty in bed!
Mustard or ketchup?: yuck!!111 one
Wonder or Amazement?: i <3 boobs
How tall are you?: 6
Have you ever smoked heroin?: nope
Do you own a gun?:mp][e
Have you ever been arrested?: nope!~!
Have you ever killed an animal?: you rmnother
Are you Italian?: i once ate a chips that margeret spat in fromths trash cfan
Who would you punch if you could?: arrowed!
If you could go right now, would you go to SF or NYC?: NYC!
Do you ski or snowboard?: ski
Do you sniff cocaine?: who's that
Who is your favorite serial killer?: aaron hil -- be killin all the bitches, or so says gillis
Have you been shot?: y3w my penis blew off in nane they gve me a prostheicnoe
Do you like painkillers?: like mallets?
Do you have A.D.D.?: what? do iu like eeev.. devo?
Have you ever had a head injury?: alcohol dioes weaird.. things to you rhead
Do u love the pain a tattoo brings?: rarwr!
White or black?: i liika muave

* * * * * * *

That’s all I can remember for now. I’ll go back and edit this as I remember more things. Burn that video footage! We don’t need visual evidence of my drinking! :-O

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