Back again with more prosetylization, but this time the stakes are higher.

I direct you to an article written in CNN money online. It profiles a man named Kevin Hamm: businessman, self-taught low-level programmer, devout Christian, and the world’s most profitable domainer. His portfolio is currently worth approximately 300M, he makes about 70M per year in click-thru advertising, and runs the site “agoga.com”, which if you’ve ever typed a misspelled or generic url into your url bar, there’s a good chance you’ve seen it.

His latest deal? A bargain with the COUNTRY OF CAMEROON.

Cameroon owns the “.cm” top-level domain (TLD). For example: “www.widgets.cm” would be the Cameroonian equivalent of “www.widgets.us” (the United States TLD). However “www.widgets.cm” is remarkably close, in fact, only a typo away from “www.widgets.com”. Do you see where this is going?

The deal that Hamm struck up with the Cameroonian government is that every time someone goes to an unregistered “.cm” address, their servers automatically redirect the traffic to his agoga.com website. So if you type in “www.alskjlakweranleka.cm”, it should (and I believe, DOES) redirect you to agoga.com. But so would legitimate misspellings, like “www.microsoft.cm” or “www.wordpress.cm.” Cameroon gets a small cut of any profits from redirection, of course, but that’s a small price to pay given that this deal virtually registers a near-infinite amount of domains, BY DEFAULT, with Cameroon.

Hamm is also pursuing similar deals with Colombia (.co — also a .com misspelling), Nigeria and Ethiopia (.ne and .et, respectively; Both misspellings of .net). To continue my analogy from my last post: This situation is like if you had a town (with the people with sandwich signs standing around on sidewalk tiles) and if you went looking for something that no one had heard of or something where you aren’t pronouncing the name correctly, they direct you to Hamm’s sidewalk tile.

This isn’t what the Internet is about. People hoarding domains and controlling traffic in this way is an unfair, unnecessary practice that leeches from the experience. As the number of these domaining-ad-aggregates increases, there will be more junk websites, clogging up search engine results and interjecting themselves into the path to your information destination.

There was a similar recent case with some alleged spyware companies such as Zango.com, Roundads.com, etc. The case I read went like this:

1. You install their third-party software (either in the form of a toolbar, “cool email smileys”, a cute puppy screensaver, etc.) and it runs in the background as you search the web.
2. You go to a website, such as blockbuster.com, and decide you want to register with one of their subscription programs, so you click the link to go to the registration form.
3. The spyware, running in the background, identifies this click and hijacks it — instead of taking you to the normal registration form for blockbuster, it takes you to the same registration form, but with the referral information crediting the spyware’s company with the referral as if you had “found” Blockbuster while looking at Advertisements placed by the Spyware company
4. Blockbuster then sees the referrall information, and must then pay the Spyware company a sum of money, around 10-20 DOLLARS each time. And the company did NOTHING to benefit Blockbuster.

See how this is a problem?

This is the type of capitalizing and profiteering that serves only the self-interest of the person doing it, but affects us all. It’s like a Tragedy of the Commons; Everyone knows that this will eventually die out on its own, so they’re all jumping aboard as fast as possible to get a piece before it croaks.

My clarion call to you, fair reader: Don’t load toolbars, advertisement software (and scan regularly!), and don’t click on Domaineer’ed sites! Only by ceasing to reinforce this business model can we force them to stop polluting our Internet.

Categories: Geekery, Rants
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Every now and then, usually on Saturdays or Sundays, I make Melissa and I some pancakes. It’s one of the few things that I am especially good at cooking. (Melissa cooks pretty much everything else, and she is a WONDERFUL cook)

But I’ve been cooking pancakes since I was very young. My mom taught me how. Over the years, especially recently, I think I’ve got it down to a science, and I’m sharing it here!

What you’ll need:

• Jiffy baking mix (the general stuff — you don’t need to use the “pancake” mix)
• milk
• cinnamon
• nutmeg
• lemon juice (yes, lemon juice)
• salt
• a skillet and a heat source
• a mixing bowl, a whisk or stirring device, and having a soup ladle is helpful

Put “some” jiffy mix into the bowl. I’m honestly not sure the exact measurement. A few cups is usually good, but don’t measure it, just pour it in. Add a pinch of cinnamon (two shakes), a dash of nutmeg (one shake), a pinch of salt, and a capful of lemon juice. Now add “some” milk. Pour a little bit in, stir it, then add some more if necessary. Right now, you want the consistency to be slightly less thick than a milkshake — you should be able to stir it easily, but you should feel a *little* resistance. It should be a little lumpy still, but make sure the big lumps are broken up. Add more milk or more jiffy mix until you get that consistency, but do it relatively quickly. Then let it set while you heat the skillet.

After a few minutes when your skillet is heated (if you are not using a non-stick skillet, be sure to use butter or oil to grease the pan first), the pancake batter should have thickened a little bit, and should have the consistency of a thick milkshake, but still pourable. Use the ladle to pour pancakes that are anywhere from 4″ to 6″ across into the skillet. Whatever size you want. Just make sure you get it all in one pour, or they won’t cook evenly.

Watch the top of the pancake — when it looks either porous or like it’s starting to dry out, check the pancakes. This just takes practice to know exactly when. You want a nice golden brown color. If they’re ready, then flip them. I can usually get about 3 pancakes in my 13″ skillet. When they’ve finished on the other side (it will take less time this side) remove it from the skillet and put it on a plate in the microwave or oven.

Some other things to watch out for:

• Do not use egg in the batter. Egg makes the pancakes really heavy and dense. Save the eggs for french toast or scrambling.
• If you make the batter too thick initially, the pancakes will be heavy and may not cook all the way through. If you make the mix too thin, it won’t maintain it’s shape in the pan.
• Don’t compulsively check your pancakes. In fact, when you get good, you shouldn’t check them at all, you should just know by look and smell when they’re ready. It’s just not good to interrupt the browning process.
• If you decide to use human organs in your pancake batter, make sure you drain the blood out first, otherwise the pancakes will taste weird.

Some other things you can try:

• Instead of milk, try half-and-half or cream. It tends to give the pancakes a smoother, creamier taste to them.
• You can add things like fruit bits (blueberries, apple pieces, strawberries, etc.).

Categories: Everything Else, Humor
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When my wife and I were first dating, she told me that she was applying for a job in Kansas City, Missouri, to work for Hallmark, writing greeting cards. In a macho-macho-I-want-to-impress-you-so-you’ll-think-I’m-teh-hotnezz way, I wrote some Holiday Haiku. Here they are:

You burnt the rib roast
You slept with my brother twice
Merry Christmas whore

Kids dressed like O.J.
Blood everywhere you can see
Happy Halloween

Roadkill for dinner
Chocolate eggs for dessert
I ruined Easter

Those were from a while back. Here’s a recent one:

Diapers everywhere
You haven’t slept for two months
Happy Mother’s Day

Categories: Humor, Writing Pieces
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