When my wife and I were first dating, she told me that she was applying for a job in Kansas City, Missouri, to work for Hallmark, writing greeting cards. In a macho-macho-I-want-to-impress-you-so-you’ll-think-I’m-teh-hotnezz way, I wrote some Holiday Haiku. Here they are:

You burnt the rib roast
You slept with my brother twice
Merry Christmas whore

Kids dressed like O.J.
Blood everywhere you can see
Happy Halloween

Roadkill for dinner
Chocolate eggs for dessert
I ruined Easter

Those were from a while back. Here’s a recent one:

Diapers everywhere
You haven’t slept for two months
Happy Mother’s Day

Categories: Humor, Writing Pieces