Posts Tagged BLARRGGGHH!

Day 1: Project Cat-Pee

I am exhausted, so this will be a short blog. 

We closed at Freedom Title. Everyone was very nice, and I felt very comfortable. It took about 45 minutes, and we finally got to meet the sellers. They were really nice people as well. Apparently the house was built by the family’s parents/grandparents in 1923, and has stayed in the family ever since. It was pretty obvious that the father was reluctant to sell, so I tried to assure him as much as possible that it was in good hands.
While we were there, the Title people were very accommodating. They gave us candy, explained all of the pages, and got Melissa some bottles of water when she said she was thirsty. Our realtor, Tim, gave us a Thank You card that had a gift card for Lowe’s in it! Awesome! I felt really good about it, and a lot more confident that this is the right thing to do. My family seems to share that sentiment.

The Gill came over afterwards, and I signed over the check the Title company gave me. Everyone was squared away, and I didn’t have any more short-term borrowings outstanding. Whew! At this point, we’re actually about half a grand up — I had anticipated on paying out more than we did, so I was really happy about that. Shortly after that, Satya stopped by, helped us move some things outside, until Melissa’s parents showed up 15 minutes later. We loaded up the truck, and all three of our cars drove over to the house. This would be her parents’ first time seeing the house! They liked it, and Melissa gave them the tour. We finally got to see the garage, and it was A-OK with me. Big, empty, and not too messy. One day of cleaning and it should be fine.

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Don’t let your cat eat chocolate.

Last night I was getting ready for bed. It was nearly midnight, I was doing my nightly bathroom routine. It took maybe 2 minutes. As I was leaving the bathroom I happened to look down and see what can be only described as an explosion of regurgitated cat food. Many of the pieces were still whole, and the entire spray was probably 3 feet or longer. What was remarkable about this was that I didn’t hear it happen. Normally, when Frank has a throat obstruction, you can hear him cough.

So anyways — the next morning I find ANOTHER place where Frank had puked. This one had no cat-bits, only a brown stain. (See where this is going?) I told Melissa about it, we both didn’t understand why Frank had vomited — it’s unlike him to give up food, considering how often he eats.

This morning, I was sitting in a mandatory meeting about FEMA procedures and I get a call from Melissa. She tells me, “I know why Frank was throwing up. He ate chocolate.” Melissa had this chocolate bar which she didn’t entirely finish and had been left (still wrapped up) on the coffee table. Apparently, last night, Frank knocked the chocolate bar off the coffee table, picked it up with his mouth, and carried into a corner somewhere, where he proceeded to munch on it. She found the remains this morning, and threw it out. He hadn’t eaten very much, but then again he’s not a very big cat.

The kicker is that even though he probably threw up everything he ate yesterday, he was still racing around today like nothing happened. What a little ass-cat.

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The “Mini-Cooper” and Adult Bookstore Etiquette

I have a friend, let’s call him Seamus (that’s pronounced “SHAY-muhss”) who may or may not be married. Let’s hypothetically say that he is, because it makes the story more interesting. We’ll call his wife…. Persephone (“perr-SEFF-oh-NEE”). Seamus is constantly trying to get Persephone to wear a thong, and she keeps saying no for various reasons. Finally she caved and said she would wear one when he does.

So as a gag joke (or maybe as a “not-so-gag-joke”…I really don’t know) Persephone and her co-worker went to the adult bookstore and bought Seamus a thong, camouflage print (presumably so he can still look sexy and match in fatigues). It was codenamed “The Mini-cooper.”
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