Tag Archives: parenting

Bouncehouse Done Wrong (Know Your Market!)

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Bounce HouseI’m pissed.

I just had to explain to my three-year-old girl that she had to leave the bounce house because “that man says her time was up”, putting her in tears. My five-year-old was more compliant with the instruction.

“That man” was the operator / staffer who also, moments ago, offered to let me pony up another 3 tickets (at $1 / ticket) for another 3 minutes in the bouncehouse. (3 tickets is the gate-fee for using the bounce house)

If you don’t understand why this is a problem, it is likely that you have never taken a young child to a bounce house, which I suspect is most likely the case for the teen-aged operator. The festival, as a whole, was organized by a large group of other youth in his age-group, and for the most part, was done well. But the bouncehouse was clearly not planned by someone who had done proper market research into what their consumers (children ages 2-7, typically, and the parents who bring them) are expecting.

Let me explain: Continue reading →

Toads and Kids

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In late May, while Freyja took a nap, Sullivan and I went for a walk down the road. I didn’t really know where we were going to go, or what we were going to do; I think my initial thought was to go to the horse stables.

Along the way, we found a hole, probably 4 feet deep and about 6 or 7 feet across (dug out for some utilitarian purpose, I think) that was filled with a couple feet of water. I saw a giant frog, or maybe a toad, on the other side.

“Sullivan, look!” I whispered. “See the frog?”

When we stepped closer, it quickly hopped into the water, making an audible *PLOP*. And then two other frogs, that we hadn’t seen, jumped in too: *PLOP* *PLOP*. A fourth one jumped from about a foot or two from our feet: hop, hop, *PLOP*. This gave me an idea.

“Hey, let’s go check the pond for frogs! I bet we’ll find some!”

We re-traced our steps back to the pond we had passed earlier, and started to walk around the edge of it. About one-third of the way around, I glanced at the water and saw what I initially thought was some sort of aquatic vegetation or strange bed of rocks, but turned out to be a myriad of tadpoles! They wriggled and swam around. Sullivan didn’t see them at first, so I tossed a small pebble into the middle of one of the tadpole groups, and the tadpoles quickly dispersed in all directions; Sullivan saw them.

We kept walking around the pond, looking for more tadpoles and kept seeing more and more. On the far-side of the pond, there was a convocation of so many tadpoles that you could barely see the earth underneath. Remembering that he had his old aquarium in his closet, this gave me an idea. I sent a message to Melissa, telling her about the tadpoles and asking her if she could bring a bucket to us to catch some. We were going to raise some frogs / toads.

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Alternadad [Book Review]

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Picked up a hardback copy of this book from the clearance bin at Hastings. In retrospect, I totally would have paid full (or at least “full paperback price” — I’m pretty frugal) price for it.

Neal Pollack is a modern-age writer-hipster who refuses to grow up. He has a child. That alone qualifies as a plot for either a reality TV show or perhaps a feel good Dramedy starring either Hugh Grant or Colin Firth.

I’ll be honest, the book cover and title were catchy enough to draw me in, as was the concept: “memoir written by father that wants to remain cool in spite of fathering an ankle-biter”. And that’s pretty much this book in a nutshell – Pollack sacrifices tradition to maintain his youthful identity as he approaches middle-age as a new father.

The writing style is done in a series of semi-linear vignettes; each chapter focusing on a particular period starting in the year(s) leading up to fatherhood into the first two years thereafter. I say “semi-linear” because I think there is some overlap, some backtracking / flashbacking, and each chapter doesn’t necessarily abut directly to the next. At first, I found this to be a little disorienting, but after a couple chapters, you begin to see that the book is more illustrative than documentarian. He is also extremely candid, speaking frankly and unabashedly about everything from his primal urges, to his pot habits; he writes with a candor that is generally honest, even when owning up to his mistakes.

I absolutely adored this book; although I also recognize that this book may well not be for everyone. I found Neal & his wife’s experience to really resonate with my own path into fatherhood; creepily, at times. While not a specific analogue to my own life (I don’t smoke pot, for example, and I am not independently employed), the arc of his transition mirrored mine very well.

As a memoir, it is both clever and, in my opinion, a joy to read. Too many reviews I saw on Amazon seemed tainted by criticism on his parental choices and personal habits & vices, rather than just experiencing his victories and defeats vicariously. But perhaps I’m just being overly generous since it resonated so strongly with me.

I give it 10*/10 rating, the asterisk indicating that your mileage may vary.

Parenting: heart-wrenching bedtimes, week 1.

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Now imagine him crying. :(

Now imagine him crying. :(

Today is the end of the first week Sullivan has gone to bed by himself.

Up until this past Monday, Sullivan had been co-sleeping with us. Pretty much since he was born. When he was an infant, we had his crib side-car’d to the bed (for safety reasons). There was a brief while when we moved his crib into his own room (around age 1) and I would lay him down in his bed at around 9pm. He would inevitably wake up around midnight or so, and we’d end up just bringing him to bed with us. It was tough; Mel and I were both full-time students so we just really never had the available time to dedicate to getting him into a routine. Plus, it’s just really hard when you’re holding the door shut so he can’t open it, all while he’s screaming tearfully and trying to get you to let him out (“Yah-yeeeee!!!! Maiiiii!!! Baff? Toyees?”) Continue reading →

Parenting: much ado about sleeping

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Sullivan!Look at that face — Could you possibly resist it if it were crying?

Because that’s precisely what pretty much every “parental guide”, other parents (including our own!), and advice column has advised us to do at night, when he wakes up. “Just let them cry it out,” they say, “they’ll get over it after a few nights.”

I just can’t do it though — we’ve tried it. For about 2 or 3 days, when he would wake up, I would callously make him wait before we went in. First wait-period was 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 — every time he wakes up (which is a bit of a mis-statement, as he never really goes back to sleep) the duration of the delay increases.

The problem is, it doesn’t work. One night he cried for 2 and a half hours solid. Seriously. He’s done this in the car too. The kid’s got lungs like the Three Tenors. Continue reading →

Bedtime and rule-making

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Surlivan being sad :(Lately, Sullivan has been a little more difficult when it comes time to go to bed. When he was first born, all it took was a boob and a pacifier. At a couple months, he rejected the pacifier and just wanted a boob. A couple months after that he needed to be rocked to sleep. Last night, and the night before, rocking wasn’t working, and Melissa and I both realized we needed to change strategies.

We decided that it was time for us to start making the rules. The crib is sidecar’d to the bed, since we’re doing the Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting co-sleeping bit, but up to this point, the crib has been empty pretty much every night, with Sullivan sleeping in between us. The routine thus far has been that when he wakes up, Melissa tries putting him to sleep with her womanly ways, and if that doesn’t work or she’s sore, then I’ll stand up and try to rock him to sleep. Lately though, he just wants to be awake and crawl all over us at 11pm.

Last night, after trying the usual thing unsuccessfully, I laid him in his crib on his stomach (he sleeps better that way) and covered him with a blanket. He was bawling pretty loudly. I sat next to him and rubbed his back with an open palm. When he would try to rear up on all fours, I gently straightened his legs back out so he was laying down again. When he kicked off the blanket, I’d put it back on him. Eventually, after about 15 or 20 minutes of this, he fell asleep. What was even more remarkable is that when he woke up in the middle of the night to eat, we laid him back down in the crib and he stayed asleep! (That’s not typical from our previous methods)

I think the motivation for this came from Eric Cartman. If you’ve ever watched South Park, especially recently, you know about how Cartman manipulates his Mom to do what he wants. Not that I think Sullivan is an evil little shit or anything (he’s just an excited little boy), but I think that up until now we haven’t really shown him any boundaries. That seems like a recipe for a spoiled kid, and I figured it would be easier to start establishing boundaries now while he’s still an infant rather than when he’s a teenager and hoothollerin’ and lollygagging around.