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Posts Tagged parenting

Parenting: heart-wrenching bedtimes, week 1.

Aug 14

Posted by Aaron in Musings | 2 Comments

Now imagine him crying. :(

Now imagine him crying. :(

Today is the end of the first week Sullivan has gone to bed by himself.

Up until this past Monday, Sullivan had been co-sleeping with us. Pretty much since he was born. When he was an infant, we had his crib side-car’d to the bed (for safety reasons). There was a brief while when we moved his crib into his own room (around age 1) and I would lay him down in his bed at around 9pm. He would inevitably wake up around midnight or so, and we’d end up just bringing him to bed with us. It was tough; Mel and I were both full-time students so we just really never had the available time to dedicate to getting him into a routine. Plus, it’s just really hard when you’re holding the door shut so he can’t open it, all while he’s screaming tearfully and trying to get you to let him out (“Yah-yeeeee!!!! Maiiiii!!! Baff? Toyees?”) Read the rest of this entry »

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Parenting: much ado about sleeping

Sep 22

Posted by Aaron in Musings | 1 Comment

Sullivan!Look at that face — Could you possibly resist it if it were crying?

Because that’s precisely what pretty much every “parental guide”, other parents (including our own!), and advice column has advised us to do at night, when he wakes up. “Just let them cry it out,” they say, “they’ll get over it after a few nights.”

I just can’t do it though — we’ve tried it. For about 2 or 3 days, when he would wake up, I would callously make him wait before we went in. First wait-period was 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 — every time he wakes up (which is a bit of a mis-statement, as he never really goes back to sleep) the duration of the delay increases.

The problem is, it doesn’t work. One night he cried for 2 and a half hours solid. Seriously. He’s done this in the car too. The kid’s got lungs like the Three Tenors. Read the rest of this entry »

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Bedtime and rule-making

Nov 7

Posted by Aaron in Musings | No Comments

Surlivan being sad :(Lately, Sullivan has been a little more difficult when it comes time to go to bed. When he was first born, all it took was a boob and a pacifier. At a couple months, he rejected the pacifier and just wanted a boob. A couple months after that he needed to be rocked to sleep. Last night, and the night before, rocking wasn’t working, and Melissa and I both realized we needed to change strategies.

We decided that it was time for us to start making the rules. The crib is sidecar’d to the bed, since we’re doing the Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting co-sleeping bit, but up to this point, the crib has been empty pretty much every night, with Sullivan sleeping in between us. The routine thus far has been that when he wakes up, Melissa tries putting him to sleep with her womanly ways, and if that doesn’t work or she’s sore, then I’ll stand up and try to rock him to sleep. Lately though, he just wants to be awake and crawl all over us at 11pm.

Last night, after trying the usual thing unsuccessfully, I laid him in his crib on his stomach (he sleeps better that way) and covered him with a blanket. He was bawling pretty loudly. I sat next to him and rubbed his back with an open palm. When he would try to rear up on all fours, I gently straightened his legs back out so he was laying down again. When he kicked off the blanket, I’d put it back on him. Eventually, after about 15 or 20 minutes of this, he fell asleep. What was even more remarkable is that when he woke up in the middle of the night to eat, we laid him back down in the crib and he stayed asleep! (That’s not typical from our previous methods)

I think the motivation for this came from Eric Cartman. If you’ve ever watched South Park, especially recently, you know about how Cartman manipulates his Mom to do what he wants. Not that I think Sullivan is an evil little shit or anything (he’s just an excited little boy), but I think that up until now we haven’t really shown him any boundaries. That seems like a recipe for a spoiled kid, and I figured it would be easier to start establishing boundaries now while he’s still an infant rather than when he’s a teenager and hoothollerin’ and lollygagging around.

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Fatherhood, part deux

Nov 6

Posted by Aaron in Friends, Family & Pets | No Comments

Sullivan and MelissaSullivan

Sullivan has begun to crawl. Everywhere. He pulls himself up onto things as well. His new favorite hobby is finding new ways to bang his head into solid objects. Everytime he loses balance, gets that frightened look in his eyes, and then *THUD* right into the floor, coffee table, couch, table, chair, television, crib frame, kitchen cabinetry, computer, subwoofer, or some new object I have yet to see.

It’s hard to not feel like a bad parent when you see your son’s head collide with a stationary object but every parent I’ve talked to (including my own) have said that it’s totally normal. In some ways, it’s kind of funny — America’s Funniest Videos kind of schadenfreude kind of funny. But I still feel bad for him.

In addition to being more mobile, he’s a lot more lively. He cackles, shrieks, yelps, makes merry, cries, whines, bitches, moans, etc. He watches my mouth move when I talk. His eyes have a lot more character in them and his facial expressions are much more varied. He still doesn’t mimic quite yet, but I think that’ll be soon. (And then we get to teach him baby sign language!)

APPLE CIDERZHe can almost completely stand on his own, a prospect that frightens Melissa and I with a portent to the near future when he’ll be walking; elevating his head into a whole new echelon of objects to run into. I swear this kid is going to be a frenologists wet dream.

The House

The house is currently in a quasi-state of disarray. The bathroom, still unfinished, is lacking both a sink, a toilet seal (so it smells gross), and paint. The drywall is nearly done. All I have left to do is sand off one little area by the entrance, and it’ll be ready for painting. We picked up some primer to get it started, but haven’t really picked out a color yet.

The living room has one wall with primed-trim. The wall with the entrance door and large window have their trim painted (the door too). We finally decided that painting the trim would be a good idea, and I have to admit, it really does improve the appearance of the room. When we get carpet laid down, possibly next year, I think that’ll help it even more. It seems a shame to cover up the wood, but the hardwood floor lost it’s novelty after my eighth foot-splinter.

So painting, painting, painting. Anyone want to help? I also need someone skilled with doing ceramic tiling, because I think that’s what we want to do in the bathroom.

My Grammy

Grampa, Me, GrammyEarlier this year, in February I believe, my Grandpa Westerdale died at 82 years. He had some chest problems and knee difficulties, but pneumonia did him in. My Grammy Westerdale is currently in the hospital with cancer, and Mom says that it’s not gotten any better in spite of Chemo and Radiation therapy. I guess at this point, she’s done with treatment and just wants to go into pain management. Mom thinks it’s quite possible she won’t make it to Xmas.
This Thursday, Melissa, Sullivan and I will be driving out to NJ to see her and visit family. Saturday will be when we actually get to Jersey, because we’ll be staying at my Mom’s in PA. It’s supposed to be a bit of a surprise. My car is currently in the shop getting some much-needed repair work done to it, so it’ll be drive-viable for the trip.

I don’t think I’ve really had time to stop and let this whole situation sink in, but I’ll have a 10 hour trip each way to do it. I think the most significant thing about this is that this trip will be the last time any of we three ever see Grammy alive. Being able to say that with certainty is profound.

I know that I, and probably most people, have read stories and anecdotes about death / near-death putting life in perspective. But just like parenthood, you don’t comprehend how true it is until you’re actually in the situation yourself.

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Parenting: The Game

Jun 27

Posted by Aaron in Games | 5 Comments

Parenting: The Game is a fun, rewarding, and challenging game for three or more players. It keeps you guessing, it keeps you laughing, it’s so fun you’ll think it never ends!

What you’ll need

  • Two players are designated as parents
  • One player is designated as the child
  • A pacifier, some music, some diapers, a crib, a sling, a bottle/breast, and a car with carseat

How to Play

The “Child” player decides when a game begins and ends, and for how long it is played.

Each round starts with the “Child” selecting a “Want”, either at random or by choice, from the following list:

  • Diaper Change
  • Car ride
  • Walk Around the house
  • Carry ‘n’ Bounce
  • Pacifier
  • Hungry
  • Music
  • Conversation
  • Tired / Lay down
  • Nothing at all
  • Other “Wants” are available in expansion packs, or you can create your own!

When the “Child” player has selected his “Want”, reset the “Cry” counter to “0″ and begin the round.

The players designated as “Parents” now take turns guessing which of the “Wants” the “Child” player selected. If the “Parent” guesses incorrectly, increment the “Cry” counter by one. When the “Cry” counter reaches 3, the round ends and the players lose. A new round may not begin until the “Parent(s)” have successfully guessed the last “Want”, and the “Child” decides s/he is ready to begin again. This is the case even if the “Parent” players lose the round!

If a “Parent” successfully selects what the “Child” wants, the round ends and a new round begins.

Winning

When a pre-determined number of rounds (chosen by the “Child”) has been successfully won by the “Parent” players, the Parents will be rewarded with a reward selected, by the “Child” , from the following list:

  • Smile and/or laughter
  • Vomit
  • A nap for an undisclosed amount of time
  • Conversation (for more experienced “Child” players)
  • Nothing at all
  • Another round

Variations

Additional “Child” players may be added, to make a more challenging round. More experienced players may want to revise the “Wants” list to include alternate selections such as: “Toy”, “Cookie”, or “Reading”. The “Rewards” list may be similarly adjusted.

Fans of this game may also like the classic game Mastermind.

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