Blog.amhill

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Posts Tagged PENGUINS!!!

How I nearly killed my friend (funny, I promise)

Dec 13

Posted by Aaron in Humor | 1 Comment

The other day Megs and I were messaging each other back and forth, I was telling her about Chronicles of Narnia and how the White Witch reminded me of her (and how she needs to dress up as the White Witch for halloween next year). This is what I sent….I found it rather funny. :)

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Strychnine to Feel Fine
Date: Dec 12, 2005 7:43 AM

I swear — when they introduced the white witch on screen I was like “OMG THAT IS FUCKING MEGHAN IF I EVER SAW IT”

well…i mean, it wasn’t LITERALLY fucking you (she was sitting down at the time), but I mean “fucking” as a word of emphasis.

you know what i mean, you say fuck all the time.

fucky.
———————————————————————

Read the rest of this entry »

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Penguin Suit. Little known facts about penguins

Dec 6

Posted by Aaron in Friends, Family & Pets, Humor | No Comments

Ok. So Mandy and I were talking the other day about penguins. We were discussing where I would have to go (other than a zoo) to see them up close, and I started looking up information on the net about em. This ultimately led to the discussion about the penguin suit, which I will get to in a moment.

Did you know that when penguins aren’t travelling at super-sonic speeds underwater, they are often found playing strategy games and surfing the internet? There are only 4 species of penguins found down in the Antarctic, but ALL 17 species of penguins are found at or south of the equator (the northernmost species being the endangered Galapogos Penguins, renowned for their sleight-of-flipper abilities). Apparently those 4 species that are still down in the Antarctic (The Emperor Penguin, skilled in martial arts) never got the memo that the whole genus was moving north.

So most of the species of Penguins prefer warmer climates. They live mostly in New Zealand, South America, and South Africa. They occasionally are called away from their natural habitats to fight crime and save the day.

Penguin Suit
This is a call to action for all of you skilled with sewing. I need to have a Penguin suit made. I will provide sketches in the near future about what it needs to look like — But I’m thinking if it’s made out of foam rubber (the stuff they make Smoochy’s costume out of in Death to Smoochy) that should work.
The plan is: I get decked out in a Penguin costume (REALLY big penguin costume) and then Mandy takes pictures of me doing random normal things such as checking my mail, shopping, eating at Olde Richmond Inn, and walking around town.
I know that I’ll probably get a lot of strange reactions, and I want to get those on film, but I also want to get some shots of people acting totally normal around me, like it’s perfectly correct for a really large penguin to be sitting in a nice restaurant drinking a glass of wine or a snifter of brandy while the server takes the order, or buying margarine at Krogers. Hellzyeah.

So — I need people who are awesome at sewing to come together and help me build this penguin suit. I need to sketch out what I want it to look like…I’ll probably do that over break in a couple weeks, when I have more time to fuck around. :)

Did you know that Penguins helped to write the US Constitution and helped America win the war?

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Million Miles a Minute

Nov 9

Posted by Aaron in Friends, Family & Pets, Humor | No Comments

Ok, at the risk of sounding Mormon, I’m stoked right now!

Fuck yeah.

The nervous projecting I was doing earlier this week is being replaced by a very manic-yet-exhausted feeling of “superness”. I have determined three things today:

  1. I am going to kick ass tonight (see below)
  2. Ordering “a medium water” from Wendy’s in order to increase your cups : visit ratio is definitely “Secret Tech”
  3. I want a goddamned Penguin. Yes. a fucking PENGUIN.

Ok — so first up is tonight. Tonight is my friend Rai (Rachel) and her friend Adam’s joint birthday soiree at Walker’s bar. They’re renting out the whole bar. Jerry, myself, and Kramer are DJing there. Earlier this week I was really apprehensive because I had no fucking clue what I was going to play. I knew I wanted to do some Drum’n'Bass, some trance, and some clubby-upbeat stuff. Each set needed to be 30-45 minutes long. So this is what I decided on (in no particular order)
Set A: The trance set (aka “Paul Van Dyk plays his hits”) roughly like this:

  • Paul Van Dyk vs BT – Forbidden Fruit (Food of Love Mix)
  • Paul Van Dyk – For An Angel (PvD’s E-Werk Club Mix)
  • Tilt vs. Paul Van Dyk – Rendezvous (Quadophonic Mix)
  • Paul Van Dyk – Another Way
  • Paul Van Dyk – The Riddle (Tell Me Why) (Vandit Mix)
  • Ghostland ft. Sinead o’Conner – Guide Me God (Paul Van Dyk mix)
  • Second Sun – Empire (PvD’s TPoD Mix)
  • Paul Van Dyk – Columbia (Remix) [if time allows]

I’m pretty sure that’s right.. Those may not be totally in correct order and I may have forgotten a song or two.. I have it all worked out in my LP case. Paul Van Dyk is a pretty neutral and easily acceptable trance choice — somewhat clubby, and a lot of the songs have vocal samples. Plus he’s like, one of my favorite DJs. It may not be the most creative set in the world, but I didn’t have a whole lot of time to practice a totally original set. I’d rather it just sound good.

Set B – Drum n Bass (aka: “I’m flying by the seat of my pants with this one”)

  • DJ Shadow – Six Days (Mos Def Remix)
  • High Contrast – Angels No Fly (LP Instrumental)
  • John B – Pressure (2004 mix)
  • Dom & Roland – Dance All Night
  • whitelabel – Dead List Dive
  • Matrix & Danny J – Telepathy
  • Hive, Keaton & Gridlok – Violent Sound
  • Future Forces, Inc – Strontium Jazz (Dillinja Mix)
  • Future Sound of London – Papua New Guinea (High Contrast Mix)
  • Universal Project – Warpath
  • )EIB( – The Nine
  • Hive – Neo (Dom & Roland Mix) (yes that’s the B-side)

Ok this is TOTALLY a tentative list. I’m seriously just going to ad-lib whatever song I feel like fits next with this. I’ve the records I’m bringing and I’m just going to do it. Whateva. The only things I know for sure is the first three songs, because I had to time that mix perfectly so the breaks hit right.

Set C – The Clubby set (aka “People are hopefully pretty drunk at this point and just want something with a solid beat regardless of how corny it is”)

  • Commander Tom – Are Am Eye (started in the middle, at the first break, before the insane Hoover sweeps)
  • DJ Misjah & DJ Tim – Access
  • The Ultimate Seduction – The Ultimate Seduction (Club Mix)
  • Carrerra – Three Drives (Nu NRG Mix, I think)
  • Jon the Dentist – Feels So Good (Original Mix)
  • Jeruzalem – Travel (Euphoria Mix)
  • Delerium – The Silence (DJ Tiesto’s OverPlayed Sunrise Mix)
  • Transa – Supernova
  • Sunday Club – Healing Dream (PVD Remix)

I think that’s all of em. I may have forgotten one of those as well — but those too are pre-determined in my LP case. That should be a fun set to spin. If no one dances then I will have lost all faith in the midwest to ever accept electronic music. (or at the very least, Richmond)

Second on the “let’s make Aaron entirely too giddy and cracked out” is the Wendy’s cups phenomena. I’ve got 15 so far in my possession. My friend Mawzipaan has two for me, and my myspace friend Nevi has 2 (so far) for me. Rock ON kids. I’m SO getting this mothafucka. I discovered yesterday, by accident, that you can ask for “water” and they don’t charge you the cost of a Medium drink, only like 0.25 (probably to cover the cost of the cup?). I haven’t been breaking this system or anything, because I’m definitely ordering food every time, but it’s definitely a much better way to get more cups faster. I’ve got a few weeks left to get the remaining 49 for my round-trip ticket, and it’s looking pretty possible! Awesome! If I *REALLY* rock this like Schooly D, I may go for the limit of 128 — that would be TWO roundtrip tickets. Kick ASS.

Last up is my current obsession with acquiring a Penguin – I will one day have one. Oh yes. Enhgma and I have already determined that I’m going to get one eventually. She asked what I was going to name it and I couldn’t think of a definite name but “Edward” popped in my head. Go figure. Anyways…. So the following conversation ensued via MySpace (this is in chronological order, from first to last):

Enhgma Nov 9, 2005 9:25 AM
…(unrelated stuff here)…
What will you name the penguin?

S92FF Nov 9, 2005 7:12 AM
…
the penguin will be named…. fuck…. umm.. Jeeves? Edward? some kind of ritzy sounding name….

Enhgma Nov 9, 2005 12:02 PM
I like Edward
I hate my fucking job
:)

S92FF Nov 9, 2005 9:20 AM
Do you want me to pass him a note in study hall for you? I think he might like you too…
You should write “Do you like me? Circle yes or no” but completely black out the area in between so he can’t pussy out.
fucking penguins are always wussing out by diving under the ice.

Enhgma Nov 9, 2005 12:32 PM
YES! Give this to him for me
Dear Edward,
Do you like me?
Circle Yes or No
Do you think I am too tall for you?
Circle Yes or No
Have you ever been chased by a flaming donkey?
Circle Yes or No

S92FF Nov 9, 2005 9:36 AM
Edward’s reply:
Do you like me?
____
Circle Yes (_or_) No
Do you think I am too tall for you?
____
Circle Yes or (_No_)
Have you ever been chased by a flaming donkey?
________
Circle (((_Yes!!_))) or No

The donkey wasn’t flaming that bad, but he did have a purse and pair of tight leather pants.

Enhgma Nov 9, 2005 12:45 PM
hey!
He didnt answer the first question
you are so gonna get me in trouble i just burst out laughing AGAIN

S92FF Nov 9, 2005 9:49 AM
duh! NO ONE ever answers the first question. You just circle in between because you’re a shy 3rd grader. (oh yeah, I guess I should have mentioned that Edward isn’t a real penguin, since I don’t own one — I just got some kid from elementary school to dress up in a penguin suit… he doesn’t really mind it all that much, aside from the staples I had to use to keep the mask on his head. )

Enhgma Nov 9, 2005 1:37 PM
Some day you’ll have a penguin of your own not to worry, unfortunately for now the third grader will have to do (hehehehe youre sick hehehehe)

S92FF Nov 9, 2005 10:49 AM
“Unfortunately for now the third grader will have to do” sounds like a quote that could be REALLY funny if taken out of context. Like… that’s the kind of thing you tell your friends to come up with a statement to precede it.

“Well, I was going to eat some General Tso’s chicken for dinner, but…”

“You know, I placed an order with one of those Mail-Order Bride companies, but…”

“I found a great way to hurl huge boulders at large buildings — but I ran out of boulders, so…”

the possibilities are endless!
(you’re SO getting in trouble for laughing;)

Enhgma Nov 9, 2005 2:11 PM
Words cannot convey the trouble you are in….that was the worst outburst yet

Fucking rules. I’ve been thinking up lead-ins for “unfortunately for now the third grader will have to do” all afternoon long. I’m accepting submissions in the form of comments. Winner gets…. something cool…. probably in a nice shade of puce.

To all you bitches coming to see Jerry and I rock on with our frocks on tonight, fuck yeah. To all the naysayers: Go back to reading your Ann Coulter book.

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